Do You Feel Sexy

Wow. How long has it been since my previous Cotm? Years, for sure. So that’s pretty much why I’d “waste” precious review time for this, dear asking reader. Also, because this was sent to me among other promos, appropriately enough. Someone went through the trouble of specifically getting this to my ears. Oy. Let’s be honest first that I love my share of cheesy cock rock and pop-infused metal, be it from the 80s or a more current retro Aquanet-addict. But Finnish group Siberian Jay’s Do You Feel Sexy is the kind of preview single that makes the upcoming album sharing the group’s name no favours. The tune is a straightforward and unfortunately catchy piece of poppy rock that exemplifies pretty much everything that is wrong with über-polished, neutered radio rock. This makes Nickelback sound like Darkness Descends. Take note again, I loves me some Journey, the classic super-produced AOR and similar groups but this is just too much. From the drums to the guitars (with or without a mechanic overdrive pedal) and from the toyish keyboards to the cheap electronic effects, everything has the kind of plastic sheen that leaves one feeling that there is absolutely no hair on that nutsack. Quite probable that there never was. Bland riffs, cookie cutter beats. Singer Ilari Hämäläinen keeps up a standard croon with the occasional deep stretch at emoting but is just devoid of all charisma, power or any sort of compelling element. If there is anything redeeming about this single, it’s that in the guitar “solo” at least the picking gets a bit more frantic and I can almost feel one of the guitarists giving a damn. And well, I must admit that at the end of the day, this belongs in the “makes me half cringe and half laugh hysterically” class of bad instead of the ”makes me half cringe and half go outside to find the most suitable tree branch to utilize for a yoyo-imitation” class. At least there’s a hint of positivity there, right? Oh, make your own judgement: Hooray, it comes with a video! In any case, Siberian Jay’s Do You Feel Sexy is absolutely my current top seed for Joke of the Year. And my track record is not even finding a candidate for each year.